I feel like abortions should bother me more
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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