oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
