he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
