i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
