Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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