There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
