He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
