Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
