you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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