ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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