he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
