My room smells like vodka and shame
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
