I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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