Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
