I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
