So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
