He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I need water and some morals
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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