I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
