nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize