Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
