problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
