Whoa Z and x make the same sound
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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