At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
