Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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