I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
