I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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