Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
