that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Say something about gay babies.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
