p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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