i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
