Are we in a gay sports bar?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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