Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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