i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
