Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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