It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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