I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
