She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
