Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
