my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
