I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
