I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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