my phone needs a breathalizer
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
