Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
