its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
