You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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