You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
