saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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