Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize