whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize