Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
