I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
