and you said cock pushups were impossible
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
