Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
