I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
