Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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