Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
