okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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