So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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