Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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