I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Randomize
