I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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