Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
