I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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