suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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