fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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