There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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